Today was really fun, i slept over hallies house with steph which was quite enjoyable. Later on at night we went to starbucks, i just got back. it was a really fun night.

Well i texted you all day and it made me kinda happy. Atleast it seemed like u wanted to talk to me unlike .. him :/ i'm just gunna keep waiting and see what happens in the future, i just don't know how long i'm willing to wait. i know i said ill wait as long as i have to but i never know when i'll just give up...ugh i just don't know what to do. my friends say "leave him alone and then hell miss you and text you. let him come to you." well idk how well thats gunna work. he just might not care or forget about me. I guess thats what i'm afraid of. i'm afraid of losing him and never seeing him again. but maybe ignoring him is best. Maybe if I let him come to me he'll relize how much he'll miss me and maybe i have a shot..i just don't think itll work out either way. he's still gunna like her and theres nothing i can do about it. I want to still see him but maybe seeing him isn;t the best of ideas. I'm just going to feel more depressed. I'm going to start liking him more and more and the fact i still know he's with her will kill me inside worse than ever. Maybe seeing other guys is better for me? I want to see other gutys becasue i do know there are better people out there. Of course he's sweet, charming, caring and all the qualities i like. I just think somewhere out there theres an even better guy. Some guy who goes through the same shit as me or even someone who just understands. I would love that. I know he's out there. That better guy. It's gunna take a while to find him though. I just want to fall in love and i want to be able to think about that person all the time and not have a dought in my mind he doesn't love me back.