so i decided that im going to start writing in my blog everyday (thank yew stephanie). Even if i don't really have anything on my mind, just what i did during the day and a couple other things...just gettin it out there. Today was an okay day. I was kinda stressed from the load of work i had to do yesterday and today. i knew 10th grade was gunna be a bit stressful but not this bad. My goal is to HOPEFULLY get things done so i dont have to worry about things on the last day. less work makes everyone a happier person, especially me. thank god i got all my fuckin work done! now i can dance around my room while music is playing... :) besides school everything went well today. The only thing that really bothered me was the bus ride home. idk, whenever i see him i get this knot in my stomach. my brain is telling me to talk and just be yourself but all that really comes out of me is a hi and a smile, a laugh sometimes. u can always make me smile but you can't ever make me happy. i see you and i completely feel like a need to smile. Maybe its just because i need to let him no im okay without him or that im happy. The thing is im not. I got on that bus today and i wasn't feeling myself, my stomach hurt, my head hurt, i felt stupid and idk why. it was the weirdest thing ever. I get these random times of sadness where i just want to take out my ipod and listen to depressing love song. A lot of the time they make me feel better. i wonder why but i couldnt tell you, i honestly have no clue.