school wasn't what i expected. this morning i was happy wen i walked out that door and it all colapsed during math. im feel so stressed but im probally just over reacting. i feel like im going to lose my friends (ovs not u 3) and just become a loner. its not gunna happen but its how i feel. i sit alone in almost all my classes. it sucks. last year i had so many friends, idk what happened. it feels differnt this year, way differnt. thingss are starting to get more serious and more work is given. i keep saying these year mite turn out amazing but i really have no hope right now of taht happening. theres no one new to meet. its the same people from last year. and all the people i did meet turn out horrible. the girls i met are so differnt from me. were seperate ppl and its like im never guna become great friends with them. all the guys i met have girl friends. its really upseting to try and meet new people when its not even possible of trying to get to know them or like them if im talking about guys. but ill just have to try and be happy about things. i look at otehr people sometimes and wonder how they ahve so many friends and others i wonder if they have any friends at all. it kinda makes me feel good that atleast i do have a decent amount of friends. i told some of how i felt to you and ull never understand how i feel. not until things are better between us which isnt happening ever or for a while. today i basicly ignored the world and im sorry for acting so strange today. idk whats with me latley. i feel like i need to meet someone, someone new who isn't what i said before. just that will make me happy.

its late, i didnt even shower yet. goodnight<3